He Hoped She Might Ignore Him
by Purgurl
Summary: Remus hoped that she might have ignored his pleas, his insistence that she find someone else. RL/NT


A black-robed usher walked alongside Remus Lupin using his hand to point him in the direction of his seat. The gigantic marquee was filled with the noise of people greeting friends and excited whispering. He took his place on a satin covered chair next to Mr Weasley and acknowledged his friend with a polite nod. He turned and gave an obligatory, but shaky, wave across the row of seats to Mrs Weasley and her children. He wished he could have summoned a smile upon his face to match the cheerful crowd filling out the marquee, but he knew that every ounce of determination that he had, had been used to will himself to come today.

A sudden surge in the chattering followed by a deafening lull indicated that something was happening at the back of the marquee. Remus turned around in his seat almost dreading what he was about to see, but unable to tear his eyes away. She looked simply radiant. It really was the only word to describe her. She had a beautiful glow on her face and her hair was a striking shade of auburn, twisted into an elegant knot at the back of her head. She wore a pretty mint green dress that clung to her body before finishing just below her knee. He knew that Dora would never have gone for the conventional puffy white dress and he was glad, this suited her much more. The knot in his stomach tightened and twisted. He dragged his eyes from her smiling face and looked once again toward the pretty garland of flowers that took centre stage at the front of the marquee.

Another figure had arrived in the absence of his gaze. A tall, handsome man stood wringing his nervous hands next to the garland of flowers. He wore long black robes, not unlike his own, with a mint green flower poking through a button fastener. His face told a million stories at once. Lupin could see happiness- no doubt about that, nervousness and a hint of disbelief. He was going to marry the woman of his dreams.

'Of our dreams,' thought Remus with a non-existent sigh.

Remus heard music beginning to play, softly first, then getting gradually louder. It wasn't the traditional 'dum, dum, dum, dum' that he had been accustomed to over the years. It was a soft, almost mythical sound. Violins being played, flutes gently trilling, it was beautiful. She began to walk down the aisle, in her hands a modest bouquet of white daisies. She was halfway there, throwing happy smiles and head nods to those she passed. She came to Remus and caught his eye. That split second of loosing focus was enough for the clumsy witch. She stumbled. Over what no one knew, she didn't have a long enough dress to walk over, nor did she have a veil to trip on. But then, his Dora always did have a way of being adorably ungraceful.

Being on the aisle seat he reached a hand over to the blushing woman and pulled her to her feet. She glanced around her at all of the amused faces. She whispered to herself.

'Even without the damned heels, I still manage to stumble...'

Remus smiled at her. Only then did she seem to realise that he was the one who had helped her to her feet. And was the one holding her hand. She flinched a little. Remus could see the shock and confusion in her eyes, and he had to admit that it hurt. She pulled away from him quickly, mumbled a hurried 'thanks' and took off up the aisle at record speed.

She reached her fiancé, took his hand and looked deep into his eyes as if to ask if he had noticed the looks exchanged between her and Remus. But Scott just looked at her with a silly little grin that displayed his amusement at her detour down the aisle. She seemed to relax slightly but held his hand firmer still.

The Minister began the ceremony. With every word Remus felt more and more hopeless. He was practically torturing himself, watching as the woman that he loved was ever closer to giving herself to another man. He had felt that perhaps being there would make it easier to accept. Maybe it would even make him happy that she was taking his advice and moving on. On the contrary he realised that, so far, his idea was nothing short of idiotic and ill-judged.

The pivotal moment finally arrived. After this there was no going back. He was waiting, hoping perhaps, that something would happen. What, he didn't know. Maybe someone would run in and shout 'I object.' Then again, he may have been watching too much Muggle television lately to have a rational take on the situation. All that he could hope for was that she herself would turn around and change her mind. Judging by the smile on her face however, Lupin assessed that this was unlikely. And by the looks of things, the only person in the room that felt that there should be an objection to the marriage was him. And he was much too polite to stand up and declare that the young couple didn't deserve their happily ever after.

In fact, being the gentleman that he was, Remus felt guilty for even thinking such thoughts. _He _was the one that told her to move on. _He _told her that he wasn't suitable. _He _encouraged her to find someone younger, safer and more deserving of her. His sitting at her wedding and wishing that something might go wrong was despicable.

"I do."

The two little words punctuated his thoughts. It was done. He felt his heart shatter. Any hope that he had, despite his guilt, was now gone. Applause, cheering, and whooping erupted behind, in front of and next to him. People were on their feet clapping for the newlywed couple.

He had never felt quite so out of place before.

He rose to his feet, but instead of raising a glass or cheering along with the crowd he pushed his way to the back of the marquee. No one noticed his movement. He located the table that had been set up for the purpose of leaving gifts on and dropped a cream coloured envelope on top of an elaborately wrapped box. He tried not to look back, and wished immediately that he hadn't. She had her arms wrapped around her new husband and was kissing him gently and lovingly. It made his stomach twist. He turned his back to the festivities and walked slowly away.

* * *

"Tonks, sweetheart, some tea?" called Scott.

"Yes please," she yelled back absentmindedly. She was rifling through stacks and stacks of envelopes. She and Scott were getting to work on opening all of the presents from the wedding. She found a letter that seemed to stand out from the rest; she recognised the writing on the front of it. It looked like the writing that she had studied endlessly for months and months. Those letters were her only sign of hope when he was underground. Of course she recognised the writing.

She wanted to open it desperately, yet she found herself hesitating. Finally, she tore the flap of the letter open and pulled out the neatly folded piece of paper. Her eyes scoured the letter hungrily.

_Dearest Dora,_

_If you are reading this, then I failed to be able to stay and say these words to you in person. I suppose I am a coward. I will have tried to watch you marry another man, and I will have tried to be happy about it. But being the selfish man that I am, I could not. I do wish you every happiness Nymphadora, I want you to be happy and healthy and live a wonderful life. I asked you to find someone who is younger, less dangerous and more deserving of you than I could ever be. You have found that man and he is better for you than I ever was, or could be. Please forgive my hypocritical decision to leave your wedding without wishing you and Scott every happiness in person, but I know that you will understand Dora. I hope that you bring as much light to his life as you did (and still do) to mine. He is a lucky man._

_Yours forever,_

_Remus Lupin_

She was shaking uncontrollably. She felt tears well up in her eyes. She had thought that he had moved on, he returned from the underground and rebuked her tries to rebuild their relationship over and over. Did this change things?

Scott walked into the living room with two teas in his hands.

"Ok, Nymphy, don't shout, there was none of the peaches and cream tea, so I've made you the green kind. I know you'll think I'm lying to try and get something healthy into you so I've left the empty box on the sideboard so you can check. Not that you couldn't do with more antioxidants after that nasty cold. I really want you to wear your slippers too Sweetheart, you need to keep warm just incase it comes back..."

As Tonks listened to his ramble, the sadness in her heart began to quell. She knew she had made the right decision. She had loved Remus with all of her heart, but he had broken it too many times. She had faced too much rejection, too much heartache and too much hoping for the hopeless. She had a husband that loved her, and didn't try to stop her from loving him back. This was much safer for her heart. And she knew that Remus would agree.


End file.
